Chirpings from a Little Sparrow

I have so many things in my head to write about! I wish I could write three separate entries in one day...but I'm going to refrain from that...ha!!
For today, I am going to write about the big thing that has been completely dominating my thoughts for the past few days.

This upcoming week is spiritual emphasis week at Bethel College. For those of you who are not connected with Bethel, this is a week where we focus on our spiritual lives, areas that we need to "work on". It's a time to reexamine our faith and where we stand with God...to work through the issues that we may be dealing with on a daily basis.
I've known this was coming, because it happens every year. But this year, the anticipation is different for me. This year I really need a week like this. This year, I am no longer afraid to examine my heart and work through the struggles that I've been dealing with for the past three years. I know that I need so much healing in my life...I know that I need to yield my life to the Lord...I know that the only way I am going to get victory over my struggles is to allow Him to step in and REALLY be my God. For real.
I am fully aware that the process of "healing" is going to be messy. I think all this time, I was looking for something easy...something that was just a quick fix. It's not supposed to be that way. God wants us to learn to rely on Him in the midst of our struggle. So yes...I know that this week is going to be a MESS...a beautiful mess.
Now I know what you are thinking...how can a mess be beautiful?
Well, when you look down and only see the mess, then of course it's not beautiful or in any way pleasant.
But when you chose to look UP from the mess and allow God to help you pick up the broken pieces, that, my friends is BEAUTIFUL!!!
So as I prepare for this week...this spiritual emphasis week...I am asking God to break down the walls around my heart, creating a beautiful mess that I cannot clean up without His help.
But please pray for me if you think of it. Like I said before, this is going to be tough before it is good.
But I am finally ready for it.