I don't know where to begin.
I had NO IDEA and NO ANTICIPATION of any of this happening.
I was trying really hard...doing everything right...there was a plan in motion, and I was set in it...and finally excited about it!
It's like I was walking down a road
and then all of a sudden...
BANG!!!!!
A huge explosion went off right in front of me.
Right in the middle of the road.
And it set me back...way back.
I feel like I am still trembling on the ground, trying to breathe and get over the shock of such a huge blow.
But I look ahead and I see that the smoke hasn't cleared yet.
I can't see the road anymore. Not at all.
But I don't think the smoke has to clear away for me to know that THIS ROAD may very well be destroyed.
And I may have to find a new one.
But I don't know where that is or how to find it.
Up until now, I have practically been running down this path full speed, so boiled over with excitement to reach my destination!
I pushed past every road block, every obstacle, SURVIVING what came around every corner.
I knew that I could still get there! And I WANTED TO GET THERE!
And then I hit the biggest, toughest road block yet,
which not only disoriented me...but it knocked me completely off the track.
I can't see.
Everything in front of me is covered in haze and looks so foggy.
And I have no way of knowing whether I need to turn around, or to turn in a different direction, or just sit here and wait until the smoke clears away and I can actually SEE what I need to do.
But I can't sit and wait too long.
Bottom line: I am afraid.
I am completely lost and I have no direction whatsoever right now.
No clue.
Nothing.
I need God to show up...like, right now.
But I feel like He's been very absentee lately. Not only in my life but in the lives of other people around me.
I feel like He's been making a habit out of not showing up when I DESPERATELY need Him to.
And right now is one of those moments of desperation.
What can I do?
