This is so scary...but so necessary.
I have chosen to center my life around two prayers that up to this point, I have never had the courage to pray...
"Lord, from this moment on ___________ is Yours. Do with it what You will..."
I spend so much time living my own life, trying to do everything and handle everything alone. But so far living for myself has not served me well. Not that this surprises me...all my life I have heard that I must surrender my whole self to God, and to let Him lead...to trust Him with all of my heart to work out all of the circumstances in my life. But I have never had the courage to completely surrender, and even when I think I am ready for it, my heart had just never fully been "in it". But now I am fully prepared...my heart is fully prepared. From now on, everything that I do in my life is going to be completely devoted to the Lord. When I walk into the studio to teach I am going to say, "Lord, this classroom is Yours...these children are Yours. Show me what to do with what You've entrusted to me."
"Lord, give me faith like a child..."
Picture a little girl in her Sunday School class. She hears the story about Peter walking on water towards Jesus; the story of Jesus when he feeds five thousand people with five loaves of bread and five fish; the story of when Jesus is crucified and then he rises again three days later. She listens with awe and wonder. She hears her teacher telling each story and holds onto every word spoken. Then she excitedly runs to her mother to say, "Guess what we learned about today?" She believes every piece of the story and she needed no convincing at all. Just because her teacher said it, she believed it was true. Years ago, this little girl was me! But as "grown ups", we hear things about God and we question it. We wonder how these things could possibly apply to us. And why?? Why, when not so many years ago we were sitting in our Sunday school class hanging onto every word our teacher said to us about Bible stories? Imagine what life could be like if we could be like that little child again...hanging onto every word from God because it would be all that we'd need. We wouldn't need anyone to convince us, we'd just...believe it. I think that God can give me that, and that is my prayer.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
How one should live their life...myself included.
Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ dwelling in them.
Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of life.
Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.
Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.
Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.
Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.
Fast from anger; feast on patience.
Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.
Fast from worry; feast on divine order.
Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.
Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.
Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.
Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.
Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.
Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.
Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal truth.
Fast from discouragements; feast on hope.
Fast from facts that depress; feast on verities that uplift.
Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.
Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.
Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.
Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.
Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that undergirds.
—William Arthur Ward (American author, teacher and pastor, 1921-1994.)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It WAS a good experience!!
Oh the pageant world. It definitely is like stepping into another planet. All of a sudden it was as if I closed the door to the real world behind me and entered a world of glitz and glamor.
I was very surprised at how natural and comfortable everything felt to me in this new foreign world. I came in nervous, shy, and with a negative attitude and I left feeling beautiful, stronger, and more confident in myself and my abilities.
Later on, I thought about how much pageants are about self-glorification and comparing yourself to those around you. It's all about who is prettier, thinner, more talented...it is probably one of those most worldly things I can think of. As a Christian I have always been taught that I should not allow myself to be influenced by worldly things, and likewise I should not spend my time comparing myself to other people, because these things will not satisfy. Instead I should focus on internal beauty and the things that are important to God and spend my time learning to be like Him and reflect His image. This is what is truly satisfied.
While I absolutely believe this, I did not find this pageant to be unhealthy for me. I am glad that I did it, although I did not win anything. I didn't find it to be a dissatisfying experience at all.
It just makes me wonder...is there anything wrong with feeling beautiful? To want to shine on stage? The fact is that God gave me my talents. I think He would want me to use them.
I loved my experience, and I am grateful for it! I didn't view it in a negative light. In fact, I would do it again and I hope to! Having said that, how can someone say to me that this was NOT God's will? How could they say that I made a choice that was not pleasing to God? (Worst of all, after saying ALL of THAT, how could they tell me that I am not the pageant "type" as those other girls are? What a contradiction!) Before this pageant I prayed that I would be a light...that I WOULD reflect the image of God through my actions. And that day, I know God was with me the whole time. He took away my nerves when I asked Him to. He gave me the words to talk about my platform, Adoption as an Option. So how could you say that I made an "ungodly" choice when I stood up there promoting one of the most God-ordained things in our world?...Adoption!
All of this negativity (especially coming from someone who is SUPPOSED to be encouraging me and building me up) is what would make me hesitant to try something like this again. But I don't think that God was disappointed with me for this. I think that no matter what, he views me as His precious and beautiful daughter. And as I got to display the talent He gave me and speak on a topic that is pleasing to Him, I truly felt like His.
I was very surprised at how natural and comfortable everything felt to me in this new foreign world. I came in nervous, shy, and with a negative attitude and I left feeling beautiful, stronger, and more confident in myself and my abilities.
Later on, I thought about how much pageants are about self-glorification and comparing yourself to those around you. It's all about who is prettier, thinner, more talented...it is probably one of those most worldly things I can think of. As a Christian I have always been taught that I should not allow myself to be influenced by worldly things, and likewise I should not spend my time comparing myself to other people, because these things will not satisfy. Instead I should focus on internal beauty and the things that are important to God and spend my time learning to be like Him and reflect His image. This is what is truly satisfied.
While I absolutely believe this, I did not find this pageant to be unhealthy for me. I am glad that I did it, although I did not win anything. I didn't find it to be a dissatisfying experience at all.
It just makes me wonder...is there anything wrong with feeling beautiful? To want to shine on stage? The fact is that God gave me my talents. I think He would want me to use them.
I loved my experience, and I am grateful for it! I didn't view it in a negative light. In fact, I would do it again and I hope to! Having said that, how can someone say to me that this was NOT God's will? How could they say that I made a choice that was not pleasing to God? (Worst of all, after saying ALL of THAT, how could they tell me that I am not the pageant "type" as those other girls are? What a contradiction!) Before this pageant I prayed that I would be a light...that I WOULD reflect the image of God through my actions. And that day, I know God was with me the whole time. He took away my nerves when I asked Him to. He gave me the words to talk about my platform, Adoption as an Option. So how could you say that I made an "ungodly" choice when I stood up there promoting one of the most God-ordained things in our world?...Adoption!
All of this negativity (especially coming from someone who is SUPPOSED to be encouraging me and building me up) is what would make me hesitant to try something like this again. But I don't think that God was disappointed with me for this. I think that no matter what, he views me as His precious and beautiful daughter. And as I got to display the talent He gave me and speak on a topic that is pleasing to Him, I truly felt like His.
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