Never, ever, ever...

Just because it's fun...

ANNNNDDD because it gives my brain something to focus on, which I am ALWAYS thankful for...

I'm linking up with Neely who blogs over at A Complete Waste of Makeup for "Never, ever, ever." Neely's got some GREAT posts on her blog! I'm constantly on it and reading what she writes...and I can relate to her too :)

Never will you ever hear me say any of these things:

{1}

I'm going to go an entire day without using the internet.

{2}

I'm pulling an all-nighter for no reason at all. I just want to.

{3}

I hate warm weather.

{4}

I'm going to take a completely spontaneous vacation.

{5}
I'm going to give up sugar...or carbs...or dairy...or meat.

{6}
Why, yes! I am happy to let this little girl/boy play with my phone! ((seriously though, don't even ask if your child can play on my iphone! The answer is NO!))

{7}
I'm too old for Disney Channel.

{8}
I don't need any more dresses.

{9}
Justin Bieber rocks my world!

{10}
Don't even worry about the grammar! Just use it the way it is!

24 before 24

Okay, so I've been 23 for about two and a half months already.
So I have a little less than a year to complete this list...but I've been wanting to write a list like this for awhile. Especially since I see them all over the blogosphere! People have some great lists going, and I love reading them, and getting inspired by them.

So here is mine! It took a really long time! But it was fun!
And before any of you wonder...no I don't think I'm asking too much of myself here. I think these are all very obtainable goals! I wouldn't have added them to the list if I didn't think I actually COULD do them. Plus, since they are here on the blog, I can hold myself accountable. I'll be crossing things off as I accomplish them...which I think will feel very good :))

24 before 24

{1}

Finish 24 books (0/24)

[It started off as 50, and then I realized that that would mean reading 5 books a month for 10 months. Yeah, I don't think that will work...LOL...so I'll stick with the "24" theme!]

{two}

Learn & perfect the Cupid Variation from the ballet Paquita [Bonus: Do it on pointe!]

{3}

Try creating five crafts pinned on my pinterest boards [or even more if I so choose!]

{four}

Reach my goal weight [& do it in a healthy way] 

{5}

Audition for at least five vocal competitions

{six}

Start practicing the piano again [Bonus: Learn to play at least one piece perfectly, that I've never played before]

{7}

Go to a water park

{eight}

Take one [or two...or three] of my dance students to a competition

{9}

Send letters along with other encouraging things to at least ten people

{ten}

Go sledding in the winter [this one obviously won't happen for awhile]

{11}

Perform the aria "Sempre Libera" from the opera La Traviata [one of the most difficult & vocally demanding soprano pieces of the opera world]

{twelve}

Gain 50 followers on this blog...doable!

{13}

Choreograph a dance that actually MEANS something...dedicated to a special cause or person...something that would make an impact on the people watching.

{fourteen}

Write [and finish...like, for real!] a short story

{15}

Host a tea party for all of the little girls I know and their dolls!

[I have seriously always wanted to do this! How much fun would it be?!?]

{sixteen}

Go sailing this summer!!!

{17}

Take a Chicago trip and take the time to actually explore...for more than a day!

{eighteen}

Get past my "fear of falling" in ballet

[explained in more depth later]

{19}

Decorate my own apartment

{twenty}

Speak publicly about my passion for mental & emotional illness

{21}

Have a vintage photo shoot either by myself, or with friends

{twenty two}

Go on a "coffee date" at least once a week with a friend...old friends & new friends

{23}

Take more pictures

{twenty four}

Pray for and believe in miracles every single day

If you ever wanted to know...

I've been super excited to write this entry! It's a little late now (I meant to write it yesterday), but the lovely Erin, who blogs over at Living In Yellow started something awesome! She asked some questions of herself, and she encouraged her readers to do the same.

Personally, it got me excited because it's another excuse to practice writing! And one of my commitments was to keep up my writing. {you can read my post about commitment HERE!} But at the same time, the questions you're about to see really got me thinking. And it got my mind focused on something other than things that drive me crazy with worry! And this, my friends, is a very good thing.

So here we go...a "self interview" of sorts! And thanks, Erin for the awesome questions!

{one} If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
Okay, why would this question ask for just ONE thing?? There are actually quite a few things in my life that I would do differently. But I suppose, after giving it some thought, I came up with the one thing that would probably be most important, and that would have had an impact on everything else. I would have gotten help for my depression/anxiety disorder sooner. I would have been braver and not worried about what anybody else {who should have been supporting me} thought about medication or therapy. I would have put their judgments out of my mind, and done what's best for ME. If I had done that, maybe I would've done so much better in getting through school. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten so sick {and you can read about that HERE!!} and I wouldn't be plagued by panic attacks as often as I have been. There are a whole lot of "maybes" & "could have beens" that come with this. I really wish I would have had more courage.

{two} Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
This question really is hard because, to be honest, I don't even know where I see myself 5 DAYS from now, much less 5 years! Every day I feel differently about something. Some days I am motivated to try something new or work toward some goal, and the next day I won't be. The fact is, I really don't even know what I really want to do! I supposed I could say that by the time 5 years rolls around, I would hope that I would have been dancing in a company for at least 4 of those years. And yes, that is the one thing I want the most, for sure...but since it's only a {very small} possibility, I can't actually picture myself in that scenario yet. Not until the opportunity gets closer and becomes more real.

{three} Do you honestly want kids?
That's a resounding YES! And, of course, that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me :)) However, I don't really know how many. Sometimes I am so sure that I only want one, because I don't think I could handle the craziness of having more than one. Plus I'm not sure if I would have the energy for more than one. But then other times, I feel that if I am set in the way I am raising them, having more than one would be something I would want.

{four} What has been the best moment of your life so far?
I took some time to think about this question...and at first I was afraid that I didn't have an answer. But then I remembered. I think it was the moment I found out that my opera professor had cast me as Mimi in "La Boheme"! He handed out everyone else's roles and opera selections, leaving mine for the end, then he acted like he'd forgotten about me. When the joke finally ended, and he told me what I would be singing that year, I immediately clasped my hands over my face and I swear I stopped breathing for a good minute! Even after he jokingly tossed my music score in my lap when I didn't take it from him. Too stunned! When it hit me, I began bouncing up and down in my chair as I flipped through the music, never more excited to work on anything! And incidentally, I can say that I enjoyed EVERY moment thereafter of the rehearsal process!

{five} What is your life theme song?
Wow! This one probably took the longest! I have so much music in my life...between being a dancer, choreographer, and singer! I looked through all of the playlists I had on my computer, and I finally came across the right one...and it made me think, DUH!! Because it should have been obvious from the beginning. It's "Sparrow" by Audrey Assad. For two reasons: It's a constant reminder of how much God loves us. "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He's watching me." AND..."Little Sparrow" is my nickname {as you can see from my header} given to me by my sweet friend Lisa, who I also call "Mamma Bird". So that song holds a special place in my heart because we kind of dubbed that as "our song".

{six} What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to before you die?
I want to be able to say that I loved God more than anything else in my life.

{seven} If you could be known for one thing, what would it be?
I want to be known as someone who made a positive impact on others. Someone who was inspiration. Someone who helped people grow.

{eight} If you could do anything you wanted to right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
I would plan a trip all over the world for as long as I wanted to as many places as I wanted so I could see absolutely everything I've always wanted to see, and then some! If only that was possible!

{nine} What has been the most challenging moment in your life?
Surprisingly {and maybe unfortunately?} this was the easiest question to come up with an answer for. I didn't even have to think about it. The most challenging moment I've ever experienced was 5 days before I left Indiana to move to Florida. I was standing at my best friend's bedside as she cried so much that she could barely speak above a whisper, and she told me that she wasn't sure if she could hang on anymore. Knowing how true that was at the time {and how high the possibility was of losing her}, I was unable to be strong for her in that moment. I hurt like I had never hurt before. I didn't know how to handle it. In fact, I wasn't handling it at all. I thank God that she is still here, and that she has been given a reason to live again. But seriously, every time I allow myself to relive that moment, my stomach ties up in knots. I can't imagine ever feeling that way again.

{ten} Summarize yourself in one word.
Growing.

And that's all folks! :))
I challenge you to ask yourselves questions like this. In fact, I'd love to see what some of your answers are! Answer some of them in the comments! Or write your own self-interview...and then let me know where it is so I can read it too :)

It's okay!

Today I'm participating in my first link-up, ever! Now, for my "non-blogger" friends who don't know what a link-up is...it's for bloggers to connect with other bloggers, & get to know the people we follow. It's always sounded fun for me because I knew it would get me writing, & force me to use my creativity. So my very first link-up is called "It's OK" Thursdays. I discovered it through Neely, who blogs over at A Complete Waste of Makeup. Neely is a really awesome girl, and I love following her blog! You should too :) And now, here we go with "It's OK"... It's OK...
That I had [more than one...ok, maybe more than two] spoonfuls of Nutella on bread today... Never mind that I am supposed to be eating HEALTHY! Haha...I know better than to deprive myself of foods that I love. So this morning, I had Nutella. But, because I always feel like I need to justify my food intake, I guess Nutella is better than just chocolate :)
That I have been watching episode after episode of "Friends" & "Full House"... Sometimes I just need something mindless & hilarious enough to make me laugh, especially at night. Both shows offer me that. Plus, I used to watch "Full House" when I was little, so it's fun watching them again.  
That I skipped a day of pointe work yesterday... My poor quads...& calves...& ankles have been so sore. And all that means is that I've been working hard! So I think my pointe shoes deserved the day off. Of course, they'll go right back on today :)
That I took a bit of a blogging hiatus {again}... I was home for 2 weeks and I didn't really have time to write. And since I've been back, I just haven't felt up for it. I often question whether or not I should even continue writing here. It's no secret that I get a lot of judgement for what I say on this blog.   That I write from my heart... Having said that, my blog is my outlet. It's space for me to share what is going on in my life...my joys AND my struggles! The days when I am feeling on top of the world AND the days when I am waaaaayyyyy down in the pit. I choose to write, because I don't think the words that come from my heart are something that should be kept secret. I follow some incredible blogging ladies, who write so beautifully and intricately from the deepest parts of themselves. I love to read what they write, and they inspire me so much! And since I am so much better at expressing myself in the written word than in person, I choose to write from my heart. Those of you to prefer to keep things inside, I'm glad that works for you...really! But I am not that person. I refuse to "recreate" myself to fit someone else's description of how I SHOULD be.
That I honestly can't stand the Florida heat... And it's okay because it gives me an excuse to jump in the pool! :)
That I decided to sleep {a lot!} extra this morning... Sleep is a huge part of being healthy. Days that I get to sleep longer are days that I will ALWAYS take advantage of.
That I've never done a link-up until now!... Better late than never, I like to think! And this was fun! I can't wait to try others!