If you ever wanted to know...

I've been super excited to write this entry! It's a little late now (I meant to write it yesterday), but the lovely Erin, who blogs over at Living In Yellow started something awesome! She asked some questions of herself, and she encouraged her readers to do the same.

Personally, it got me excited because it's another excuse to practice writing! And one of my commitments was to keep up my writing. {you can read my post about commitment HERE!} But at the same time, the questions you're about to see really got me thinking. And it got my mind focused on something other than things that drive me crazy with worry! And this, my friends, is a very good thing.

So here we go...a "self interview" of sorts! And thanks, Erin for the awesome questions!

{one} If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
Okay, why would this question ask for just ONE thing?? There are actually quite a few things in my life that I would do differently. But I suppose, after giving it some thought, I came up with the one thing that would probably be most important, and that would have had an impact on everything else. I would have gotten help for my depression/anxiety disorder sooner. I would have been braver and not worried about what anybody else {who should have been supporting me} thought about medication or therapy. I would have put their judgments out of my mind, and done what's best for ME. If I had done that, maybe I would've done so much better in getting through school. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten so sick {and you can read about that HERE!!} and I wouldn't be plagued by panic attacks as often as I have been. There are a whole lot of "maybes" & "could have beens" that come with this. I really wish I would have had more courage.

{two} Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
This question really is hard because, to be honest, I don't even know where I see myself 5 DAYS from now, much less 5 years! Every day I feel differently about something. Some days I am motivated to try something new or work toward some goal, and the next day I won't be. The fact is, I really don't even know what I really want to do! I supposed I could say that by the time 5 years rolls around, I would hope that I would have been dancing in a company for at least 4 of those years. And yes, that is the one thing I want the most, for sure...but since it's only a {very small} possibility, I can't actually picture myself in that scenario yet. Not until the opportunity gets closer and becomes more real.

{three} Do you honestly want kids?
That's a resounding YES! And, of course, that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me :)) However, I don't really know how many. Sometimes I am so sure that I only want one, because I don't think I could handle the craziness of having more than one. Plus I'm not sure if I would have the energy for more than one. But then other times, I feel that if I am set in the way I am raising them, having more than one would be something I would want.

{four} What has been the best moment of your life so far?
I took some time to think about this question...and at first I was afraid that I didn't have an answer. But then I remembered. I think it was the moment I found out that my opera professor had cast me as Mimi in "La Boheme"! He handed out everyone else's roles and opera selections, leaving mine for the end, then he acted like he'd forgotten about me. When the joke finally ended, and he told me what I would be singing that year, I immediately clasped my hands over my face and I swear I stopped breathing for a good minute! Even after he jokingly tossed my music score in my lap when I didn't take it from him. Too stunned! When it hit me, I began bouncing up and down in my chair as I flipped through the music, never more excited to work on anything! And incidentally, I can say that I enjoyed EVERY moment thereafter of the rehearsal process!

{five} What is your life theme song?
Wow! This one probably took the longest! I have so much music in my life...between being a dancer, choreographer, and singer! I looked through all of the playlists I had on my computer, and I finally came across the right one...and it made me think, DUH!! Because it should have been obvious from the beginning. It's "Sparrow" by Audrey Assad. For two reasons: It's a constant reminder of how much God loves us. "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He's watching me." AND..."Little Sparrow" is my nickname {as you can see from my header} given to me by my sweet friend Lisa, who I also call "Mamma Bird". So that song holds a special place in my heart because we kind of dubbed that as "our song".

{six} What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to before you die?
I want to be able to say that I loved God more than anything else in my life.

{seven} If you could be known for one thing, what would it be?
I want to be known as someone who made a positive impact on others. Someone who was inspiration. Someone who helped people grow.

{eight} If you could do anything you wanted to right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
I would plan a trip all over the world for as long as I wanted to as many places as I wanted so I could see absolutely everything I've always wanted to see, and then some! If only that was possible!

{nine} What has been the most challenging moment in your life?
Surprisingly {and maybe unfortunately?} this was the easiest question to come up with an answer for. I didn't even have to think about it. The most challenging moment I've ever experienced was 5 days before I left Indiana to move to Florida. I was standing at my best friend's bedside as she cried so much that she could barely speak above a whisper, and she told me that she wasn't sure if she could hang on anymore. Knowing how true that was at the time {and how high the possibility was of losing her}, I was unable to be strong for her in that moment. I hurt like I had never hurt before. I didn't know how to handle it. In fact, I wasn't handling it at all. I thank God that she is still here, and that she has been given a reason to live again. But seriously, every time I allow myself to relive that moment, my stomach ties up in knots. I can't imagine ever feeling that way again.

{ten} Summarize yourself in one word.
Growing.

And that's all folks! :))
I challenge you to ask yourselves questions like this. In fact, I'd love to see what some of your answers are! Answer some of them in the comments! Or write your own self-interview...and then let me know where it is so I can read it too :)