Back in Indiana...

I have one word to describe what being back in Indiana feels like...

BITTERSWEET.

Now why would I say that?
Because just in the past month, in Miami, here's what has happened...

I fought my constant up & down "battles" but I ultimately learned to how be happy again...even on the days it really took work. I learned how to let things go, and make a conscious choice to keep myself "up" as best I could.

There's no way I could have done that here.

I found a church that I absolutely LOVE with some beautifully genuine people!

I realized that that's what had been missing before, and why I felt so unhappy and {too often} lonely.

I developed a fully new sense of confidence in myself. I learned how to be myself and be comfortable with myself. {you can read about that HERE!!}

Again, this never would have happened, had I stayed at home.

I made some amazing friends in the studio too! Wonderful people, whom I truly feel were SUPPOSED to be in my life...and now I can't even imagine my life without them! I am happy that I allowed myself to become close with people again.

I fully realized how much I love every single one of the girls who came through that studio every week. I get attached to any group of students I have, of course. But I've only been with these girls for six months! And they've all come so far! My little ones have fallen into a good rhythm, and my older girls progressed so much in their technique in such a short period of time! I have such a strong desire to stick with them!

So yes, I do plan to return to Miami in the fall. And I am very excited about that.

{note: right now, I know that some of you are recalling the fact that I tend to make decisions only to change my mind later...believe me, I know that I do this...well, if you keep reading you'll see why this is not the case this time around.}

Here's the "bitter" part of the word BITTERSWEET...I was sad to leave. In fact I was really sad to leave. I was finally adjusted. I had become happier than I had ever been. Ever. I've been kind of afraid that I'm going to lose that...but I can't think that way now.

Now the "sweet" part of the word BITTERSWEET, is that I am very excited to spend a summer with my close friends here. I am also very excited to teach a summer session with several of my former students, whom I missed a great deal! It will be good, I know that, and I'll enjoy it! But I am okay with not staying for good now. I have a ton of things to look forward to upon returning to Miami. Some new opportunities that I can hardly wait to take advantage of...the chance to do exactly what I love, ALL.THE.TIME.

How many people can say that?

I truly never thought I would be saying that.

I have felt until recently that my life didn't have much significance. 

While I never questioned God's existence, and I never questioned that He would always be ever present in the lives of people I cared about, I really didn't think I mattered enough to Him.

I see now how wrong I was. He provides. He has brought some unbelievably wonderful people into my life, and He's provided one opportunity after another. From a place to live, to other career opportunities, to new opportunities in the studio as well.

I am just excited to see what is coming next...and finally not scared of it anymore.