Usually when Friday comes, the majority of {normal} people are relieved! The work week is over. People get a break. They get to stay home and relax and/or spend time with their families.
All around me the phrase "thank God it's Friday" is expressed in one form or another.
As for me, I can't describe Friday that way. Not lately. Not anymore.
From high school on through college, I always waited anxiously for Friday! I really didn't like school, so any break I got from it...even just a normal two day weekend...was incredibly welcome. I liked the idea of allowing my brain and body to rest. I liked the idea of getting some extra sleep. And I really liked the idea of having some free time...a rarity in my life for several years in a row...to spend time with friends, to read, to go to various events, etc.
Now, Friday comes, and it's like someone flipped a switch in my brain.
I've actually been doing really well...during the week.
I am busy, happy and excited about what I am doing...during the week.
But when the weekend comes...
Everything around here becomes very quiet.
It's always a wonderful Friday night here. I always enjoy it.
But still, I am reminded that tomorrow is a "free day" and that I won't be busy.
And then suddenly, I get stuck in my head again.
And it always goes to places I don't want it to...
Things that bother me...people I miss...stuff I am worried or concerned about.
And I can't stop it. Ever. It's like a runaway freight train.
It's like, during the week, I don't have time to think about stuff.
During the week, I never slow down enough to stop and get caught up in the constant war of activity happening in my head. Nor do I have any desire to because I'm usually feeling good during the week. There's no need to revisit those {not so pleasant} places.
But as soon as anything starts to slow down...BAM!
And it's always Friday night. Without fail. Always Friday night.
I don't really know why this happens or if there is a way to fix it {I mean, I'm sure there is. I just haven't found it yet}...but right now, I'm sorry but I really hate Friday nights and Saturdays. And all because it's a time to rest, relax, and enjoy?! Seriously, am I really that high strung that I can't even do that?!
I don't really feel like venturing further into this. I'm afraid of letting it turn into a never-ending, pointless rant. This post really seems ridiculous even now. I am hesitant to hit the publish button.
But...here we are.
Hello, EmilyAnne! My name is also Emily...but not Anne. Renee. I found your blog through Ruthanne's blog. I'm glad I did! This post really struck me, because having too much quiet time gets to me, too. I cannot lie down at night if I am thinking too much. Even with the radio on (I love to listen to the old radio programs). I will worry myself silly, about the past, present, and future. So then I end up staying up late reading until I feel tired enough that I know when my head hits the pillow, I'll fall asleep. This doesn't happen near as often as it used to, thank the Lord! Usually it's when some very serious thought enters my mind as I'm going to bed, and only here and there. At one point, about 3 years ago, it was every night. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. It hit a climax where I stayed up for 3 days with just a few hours of dozing off. I finally went to a wonderful lady in my church, who told me she had gone through something a lot like my situation, and shared a scripture that helped get her through it. I love it so much, I have the reference written on my mirror, still. The more I dwell on it, the more beautiful it becomes:
ReplyDelete"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
Just know that you're not the only one.